CORRECT WITH LOVE AND FORGIVE FROM THE HEART

(A Reflection for the 23^rd Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year A)

Fr. Ugochukwu Ugwoke, ISch

Readings: Ezekiel 33:7-9, Romans 13:8-10, Matthew 18:15-20

The first lines of today’s gospel reading are proofs that in our dealings and relationships with others, we may not totally avoid occasional moments of misunderstanding and disagreements (Matt. 18:15). We are beings-with-others and from time to time, our opinions may differ from those of others often leading to conflicts and disputes. In a relationship where there are no moments of tension and confrontation, it is either those involved in that relationship are being unreal or that one party is enduring a lot and probably, dying in silence.  In any case, what we find reassuring is that in order to ensure that these issues do not fester, Jesus has in this gospel passage, set out for us, the patterns and steps of resolving these conflicts whenever they break out in our families, communities or relationships (Matt. 18:15-17).

The underlying point from the gospel passage is that Jesus does not want us to abandon an offending or straying brother or sister. He always wants us to be reconciled with one another. That is why he advises that whenever our brother sins against us, the first thing we should do is to go to him/her privately and iron things out with them without involving a third party. Sadly, this procedure is hard to come by especially in this time of ‘my lawyer will talk to your lawyer’. We are living in a time when most of us prefer to talk to others (outsiders) about those who have offended us instead of talking directly to the very ones who have offended us. Personal dialogue will always remain a better option for brokering peace and resolving conflicts.

The attempts to be at peace with an offending brother or sister should not be made once and for all but once and always. That is why Jesus admonishes that if the above first attempt does not help in winning back the brother, then, further options must be explored. It may be the time to get involved close friends or some members of the community. Basically, every correction or step taken towards reconciliation must be done out of sincere love for the other, in respect of the other’s dignity as a human (Romans 13: 9) and for the purpose of encouraging and winning the other back to the fold. It is only in this way can correcting or forgiving the other be a sincere conversion experience as mentioned in the first reading (Ezekiel 33:8).

Finally, to treat a recalcitrant brother or sister as a pagan or a gentile does not necessarily mean that we cut them off completely. Rather, it means to be able to recognize that they are ignorant or are sinners and that through prayer and time, they might one day find the grace for conversion. Reconciliation and repentance must not be rushed.

Prayer: Our God is a merciful Father who forgives us without taking counts of the number of times we have offended Him. Let us also ask for the grace to be merciful unto others in the same way as God our Father is merciful unto us. May he grant us the grace to correct the stray without being judgmental, to reach out to those we are no more in speaking terms with and to always strive to be the first to forgive and to be open to accept apologies from others. Amen.