BALANCING OUR SPIRITUAL AND SOCIAL LIVES

 

~Fr. Ugochukwu Ugwoke (Schoenstatt Father)

Introduction

By nature, humans are both spiritual and social beings. We have both natural and spiritual inclinations. On the vertical level, we long to relate with God and on the horizontal level, we also long to interact with the world around us. We want to feed our spiritual side and same with our social side. Our life becomes more meaningful, beautiful and wellness is enhanced when we are able to maintain a healthy balance between these two sides of life. But in an attempt to foster this balance, we often run into a crisis. There is this notion that the two sides can never be integrated. It is either you are spiritual or you are social. You cannot be fully spiritual and fully social at the same time. In the youthful stage of our lives, we often encounter this crisis. The intention of this presentation is to disabuse our minds and to let us know that there can be a healthy balance between spiritual and social lives and that we can be fully social while not neglecting the spiritual aspects of our calling as Christians.

Definition of Terms

Spirituality can be defined broadly as a sense of connection to something higher than ourselves, namely, a spiritual being. This connection can be found in prayer, silence or meditation. Seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than ourselves can result in increased positive emotions. Spiritual life therefore means a holy life or a life of sanctity. Social life on the other hand refers to our ability to interact successfully in our global community and to live up to the expectations and demands of our personal roles. This means learning good communication skills, developing intimacy with others, and creating a support network of friends and family members.

Personally, I view spiritual life as having to do with who we are, that is, our very being and social life as how we express who we are. We usually express who we are through our words, actions, conduct, attitude and lifestyle. If we are to maintain a healthy balance between our spiritual and social lives, then, what we do should never betray who we are. Ordinarily, who we are should to a greater extent, influence what we do. But if our social life is opposed to our spiritual life, then, it means that what we do in our social life does not tally with who you are.

So, on the personal level, I would like us to respond to these two set of questions: who are you and what do you do or how do you express who you are? To answer the second question, you may need to consider your words, attitudes, actions and lifestyle.

When therefore we speak about striking a balance between our spiritual life and our social life, we are talking about ensuring that what we do corresponds to who we are. The person we see in the Church as a Christian should be the same person we see while he or she is hanging out with friends.

How to maintain the Balance

The first thing we have to do in order to ensure that we maintain this balance is to dare to be different but in a positive way. Today, people like following trends and no one likes to be seen as not belonging. We live in a time when those who are spiritual are mocked and called all sort of names. Do not be lured. Do not be ashamed to profess and practice your faith. However, do not practice it in such a way that you lose sight of your humanness. You are not in heaven yet.

Spiritual wellness involves possessing a set of guiding beliefs, principles, or values that help give direction to one's life. It encompasses a high level of faith, hope and commitment to one’s individual beliefs that provide a sense of meaning and purpose. It is the willingness to seek meaning and purpose in human existence, to question everything and to appreciate the things which cannot be readily explained or understood. A spiritually well person seeks harmony between what lies within as well as the forces outside. As such, in order to foster this balance, we have to spend time alone and meditate regularly while maintain a healthy contact and relationship with others. We have to listen with our hearts and live by our principles. We have to get involved, contribute to the community but while being fully present in everything we do. Nobody watches what you do but your principles will be your guide.

Furthermore, we should also consider the power of time management. There is time for everything. Give everything its due time. As a student, do not choose to pray in the chapel when you are supposed to be in for lectures, studying. There is this story of a seminarian who thought that spiritual formation is all that is to the priestly formation. At the end of the day, he neglected the human formation, intellectual formation and pastoral formation and eventually, he was asked to leave the seminary for not being a balanced person. Every aspect of our life must be given its due but prudently. The idea is for us to be whole. We are not meant to starve our spiritual life at the expense of our social life and vice versa.

Also, the life of Christ, the God made man is a clear example on how to balance spiritual life with social life. In Christ we see one who attended wedding celebrations (John 2:1-11), visited friends in their families (the siblings of Bethany), worked in his father’s carpentry shop and engaged in other social events. But outside all these, we see Christ who also knew the time to retire to a lonely place to meditate and to pray. So, to balance our spiritual life with our social life, we should look at the life of Christ. We should have our own desolate and lonely places- either physically or internally, where we can retire to have contact with the master.

In conclusion, the saints of the 21^st century will not mainly come from those who live behind the monastery walls or in cloisters. They will also come from those who live active life in the society; professionals in different fields and peoples of different states in life. To live a life of sanctity entails making a blend between the natural and the supernatural aspects of lives. We can be fully spiritual and fully social and we do this by never losing sight of who we are and ensuring that all our acts follow our being.