BUT HE/SHE CALLS YOU FATHER

Fr. Ugochukwu Ugwoke, ISch

The expression “That boy calls you father. Do not bear a hand in his death” is one of my favourite lines in Chinua Achebe’s famous novel, Things Fall Apart. These words were spoken by Ogbuefi Ezeudu to Okonkwo in an attempt to warn the latter not to have his hand in Ikemefuna’s death. Ikemefuna was a boy given up to the Umuofia tribe as a sacrifice from a neighbouring clan. While in Umuofia, Ikemefuna lived in the house of Okonkwo for three years to the extent that Okonkwo and his family grew very fond of him. As a matter of fact, he was considered a member of the family by blood and Ikemefuna himself saw Okonkwo as his second father. It happened that the Oracle of the Hills and the Caves had pronounced that Ikemefuna was to be killed and since Okonkwo was considered a warrior, he was chosen by the elders from the nine villages of Umuofia as one of those to carry out the sacrifice. So, Ezeudu had come with the above words to warn Okonkwo not to lay hands on a boy that looked up to him as his own father.

There are several ways in which one can be called a father. It could be biological in the sense that one gives birth to the other and it could be functional in the sense of the fatherly role that one plays over the other person. Basically, a father begets life. A father nourishes life and a father protects life. So, in one way or the other, we find ourselves as fathers because there are those who depend us and who look unto us father-figures. It is not simply enough to beget life either spiritually or biologically. A life that is begotten must also be nourished with sincere love and protected with great care.

In a time when we as fathers have in several ways failed those who look unto us, betrayed the trust of those who depend on us for nourishment and protection, and taken advantage of the innocence and helplessness of those who are under our care and watch, the voice of Ezeudu keeps reverberating and his words keep urging us to do no harm to the child that calls us fathers. Our age is in need of exemplary fathers and father-figures. As biological fathers, one of our basic responsibilities is to guard and guide the very life that we beget. As pastors of souls, many people see us as father-figures and depend on us for their spiritual growth, nourishment, accompaniment and mentoring. They are our spiritual children and we should try as much as possible be worthy spiritual fathers to them. As parents, there will be many children that fate will bring into our homes as house helps, workers, servants and so on. They will look unto us as fathers and the same fatherly role we play towards our own biological children should be extended to them. Every child that looks unto us as fathers deserves to be loved genuinely and never to be harmed or exploited for our own selfish gains.