AM I THE VICTIM OF YOUR CHEATING ESCAPADE?

                                              

                                                      Clinton Chibueze Uzoukwu

Have you heard the phrase, “he/she cheated on me” lately? I am certain you also have heard about “entanglement”, another word used to convey the same meaning as cheating. These are words/phrases used to cover up grave crimes against the human person and God, making them seem normal and attractive. I am writing this to expose what is beneath “he/she cheated on ME” and to point out who the major victim in such a case is- the one who cheats or the one who is cheated on?

Just to be precise, cheating in a relationship here means having sexual relationship with someone else other than your legally married partner. However, those who are not legally married, who are not supposed to be having sexual intercourse and are in a relationship would also have cheated if they had sex with someone else.

Now, I have often heard persons lament about how their partners cheated on them by having sexual intercourse outside their relationship. They feel so hurt and injured while the cheat is indifferent to it and in most cases, even proud of it. That got me wondering who actually the victim is: the one who feels hurt or the one who committed the crime?

So, I asked myself: "If I were in a relationship and I had sex with someone else, who did I actually cheat on? Who is actually the victim?" My girlfriend, my wife or myself and how?

Then I unmasked sexual relationship with someone else and at the bottom laid the words: ‘fornication’, and ‘adultery’ which are mortal sins from a Catholic perspective.

Mortal sins are those sins such as murder that cut us off from God instantly and if we die without true repentance, then, we stand the chance of losing our soul in hell. In other words, mortal sin in Catholic theology is a gravely sinful act which can lead to eternal damnation if a person does not repent of the sin before death.

Based on this, I went back to the question of who I have actually cheated on and arrived at this conclusion:

If I commit adultery or fornication, it is myself that I have cheated, not necessarily my partner because I would have:

a.       Cut myself away from God

b.      Thereby endangering my soul and if I die without repenting and asking for forgiveness, then I would have led myself to eternal damnation.

Therefore, I asked myself, if I do not cheat, should it be because of my partner?

No, it should be because of the love I have for God and my soul which my partner should benefit from. For if I do not fear and respect God who is my creator, how can I love and respect my partner? Then I understood what they mean when they say marry someone who is God-fearing.

But if a partner has sexual intercourse with someone else, what should one do?

You wouldd naturally feel betrayed, but it was never in your control. So, do not overthink it! Rather:

1.      Reconcile the partner with God for the sake of their soul

2.      Lead them to the hospital for STD test

3.      If you are not yet married, that is a strong signal to access whether this person will be capable of leading you to God and giving your children sound moral upbringing

4.      If you are married and you cannot bear it anymore, the highest you can do is separate not divorce, without remarrying (For divorce is unchristian)

You see, usually when people “cheat” they make their partners seem like the victims, and when they do not, they make it seem like they are doing their partners a favour. In my opinion, this is a wrong presentation of the whole narrative as the cheating partner is the major victim of their escapade.

But we must know this:

The way we get angry when a partner sleeps with someone else is the way God gets angry as well.  And for unmarried couples having intercourse with each other, how can one be surprised if the other goes out? For if a man or woman does not respect their Maker, how do you expect them to respect you?

Nota Bene:

There is something going on in the world. I call it the “Embellishment of Evil”. Its objective is to make guilt appear abnormal, weaken the will and criminalize morality. The chief instrument used for this is the subtle use of words/phrases/terminologies. Thus, watch and pray!